First, I would like to apologize in the delay of my post. Several people have been asking for an update. Life is a bit overwhelming right now… as it has been for quite some time, but for some reason it’s getting harder, not easier.
Some positive things …
My hair is growing back! My head hair is slowly growing longer and looks more like a pixie cut every day. It’s not getting thicker very quick though. I can’t wait for it to thicken up and keep me warm. It was 40 degrees when I left the house this morning, so it’s time to wear hats!
Other great things are that the walk I did last week for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society was an amazing success. I had about 13 people walk with me in the POURING rain and I was able to raise $426 which was $226 over my goal. I am so grateful for everyone’s support and generosity. I’d like to thank: Allison Blythe, Audrey Alverson, Barry Richardson, Carrie and Gabe Kieselhorst, Christina Barnes, Deana Mabry, Erika Ensign, Frank Rudloff, Gary Golla, Jeff Erwin, Joe and Nathalie Pinzone, Kareena Westby, Karen Erickson, Katy and Steve Shelton, Kate Turpin and her husband, Keith Ferrante, Micaela Shelton, Roberta Pennington, Tracey Adams and Matt Kieselhorst, and Valerie Duback. I hope I didn’t leave anyone out! The next evening I had a party to celebrate the completion of chemo. There was an amazing turnout and we had a great time eating, drinking and playing guitar hero. Thanks everyone who came, it really meant a lot to me. Especially since it was the last party to be thrown by me at the house. This leads me to the opposite of positive things.
I have made the difficult decision to move. I found Porter and me a great apartment that is really close in – only 1.7 miles from work! It’s also very close to some great restaurants, shops and groceries. There are a couple of parks close by for pooter and the neighborhood is safe for me to go jogging. It’s not quite as big as I would like (especially for the price!) but it would be good to move on and start this next chapter of my life. Even if it really SUCKS and will get harder before it gets better, I know it’s the right decision. I will miss the house that I made my home for over three years. There are a lot of great memories and work that have been made there… its indescribable how I feel.
In other news, I had my simulation radiation appointment this morning. This is where they positioned me, took photos, made a mask and tattooed me. The mask is a waffle weave thing that tightly covers my whole face/head. I can’t open my eyes or move my mouth with it on. The purpose is to hold my head securely in the same position at every treatment with my chin up so then can go up to the jaw line. They also had me lay on this flat bean bag thing where they positioned me specifically and then sucked the air out so it would form around my body. It will also be used at each treatment to hold me in the same place.
It’s hard to describe the experience and what I’m feeling. I have a lot of reservations and anxiety about what I am about to experience. For some reason this feels more invasive than the chemo. Chemo didn’t cause me too much physical pain, although it did cause some emotion and mental disruption as well as fatigue. The area that they are applying the radiation is rather large. I thought they would just aim towards the mass in my chest. However, they are aiming for my whole chest region. They will be zapping my lungs, neck, major arteries, thyroid and part of each breast. This can cause major side effects both short and long term in those areas. Minor would be skin irritation, discoloration and/or burning, sore throat and esophagus, heartburn/indigestion, fatigue and loss of appetite. Major side effects include secondary cancers (skin, thyroid, breast, and lung); thyroid malfunction and not being able to eat are just a few. I could avoid all this and not do radiation, but it will severely increase my chance of a reoccurrence of the Hodgkin’s. If it reoccurs, I will not be doing chemo again but rather a stem cell transplant which puts you in the hospital for a month. SO… I guess I’ll be doing the radiation, both options suck.
Needless to say, life is pretty stressful right now. I am trying to keep healthy and distract myself with work and friends. I can’t express enough how amazing my friends are. With so much happening in the last year, I am surprised that I make it thru some days. However, with amazing support, I have no choice but to keep on the positive. I do see a light at the end of the tunnel!
1 comment:
Dawn,
When my mom had her breast cancer the first time she was very scared about the radiation as well. They had to cover a large part of her abdomen as well for her cancer that she had. The only side effect that she really saw, aside from the annoyance of having to go everyday:( was her skin was very sensitive and felt much like a sunburn during her radiation. She still has her "cool" little tatoos to prove she has been there, done that! She didn't have any of those other side effects that the doctors warned about. I hope your radiation works out as well as it can. My thoughts and prayers are with you through this time! If you need anything, let me know, I know I'm far away, but I'm a great listener! Take care!
Post a Comment